The great majority of parents who become involved with the child welfare system are from impoverished backgrounds. They usually have not had opportunities to pursue interests which would have allowed them to build satisfying and rewarding lives. Their school experiences were the source of much puzzlement and left them with lifelong bad memories. Both vocationally and avocationally their lives seem bleak, certainly to themselves but also to outsiders. Their experiences have not included the pursuit of distant goals which necessitate long-term planning and the postponement of more immediate activities and desires. Some of these very characteristics and experiences are also important for good parenting.
Many of the habits they have become used to and the sources of satisfaction with which they have become familiar have developed within a limited range of access. They are well aware of the inequality and the inequities between them and those whose success they see as being of an unattainable realm.
Were someone to engage them in a discussion about their hopes and aspirations, for themselves and for their children, they would probably initially hesitate to wish for much, but would then shyly enumerate more or less the same things middle-class parents expect for their families. But unlike middle-class parents, they would be describing what they consider to be an unattainable dream.
Then one day a child welfare caseworker comes knocking at their door. Go to parent training classes; go to counseling sessions; go to drug evaluations; go to drug abuse treatment; and by the way, what have you stored away in the fridge, let's take a look. On one hand, ya, this is bad, but so is so much else in life, so just go along with it all. But on the other hand, what's the point of all this stuff, of learning about parenting; what good will it do anyway, we're not going any where; if I start doing some of this new parenting will my kids have a chance for a better life? They're not getting out of this mess no matter what I do. So just leave me alone; my kids aren't doing so bad anyhow. And counseling... if I want to chit chat I got my friends to talk to, and they understand me better than that shaking head who barely remembers my name.
But what if that knock at the door would offer some real help--some real hope--with making some of those shyly enumerated wishes a reality? What if instead of counseling, genuine discussion would ensue about the parents' aspirations and then help would be provided in locating the resources to start making them a reality? What would the parents' thoughts about better parenting skills be like were they themselves to begin experiencing more satisfying and productive lives? What would their thoughts and hopes for their children's lives be like? Would they then not look upon parenting classes and even appropriate and competent counseling as two additional things that can help turn their lives around?
While exceptions no doubt exist, the usual approach to mandatory parent training and various kinds of treatment is misguided. Rather than foisting these "services" on families without regard to their circumstances, in what amounts to a highly incongruous manner; rather than treating these families as if they were psychiatric patients in need of treatment, consider first the context within which the alleged maltreatment exists and work to change that. Parents will then see a reason for better parenting, which will become one of the things they also aspire to achieve.
Many of the habits they have become used to and the sources of satisfaction with which they have become familiar have developed within a limited range of access. They are well aware of the inequality and the inequities between them and those whose success they see as being of an unattainable realm.
Were someone to engage them in a discussion about their hopes and aspirations, for themselves and for their children, they would probably initially hesitate to wish for much, but would then shyly enumerate more or less the same things middle-class parents expect for their families. But unlike middle-class parents, they would be describing what they consider to be an unattainable dream.
Then one day a child welfare caseworker comes knocking at their door. Go to parent training classes; go to counseling sessions; go to drug evaluations; go to drug abuse treatment; and by the way, what have you stored away in the fridge, let's take a look. On one hand, ya, this is bad, but so is so much else in life, so just go along with it all. But on the other hand, what's the point of all this stuff, of learning about parenting; what good will it do anyway, we're not going any where; if I start doing some of this new parenting will my kids have a chance for a better life? They're not getting out of this mess no matter what I do. So just leave me alone; my kids aren't doing so bad anyhow. And counseling... if I want to chit chat I got my friends to talk to, and they understand me better than that shaking head who barely remembers my name.
But what if that knock at the door would offer some real help--some real hope--with making some of those shyly enumerated wishes a reality? What if instead of counseling, genuine discussion would ensue about the parents' aspirations and then help would be provided in locating the resources to start making them a reality? What would the parents' thoughts about better parenting skills be like were they themselves to begin experiencing more satisfying and productive lives? What would their thoughts and hopes for their children's lives be like? Would they then not look upon parenting classes and even appropriate and competent counseling as two additional things that can help turn their lives around?
While exceptions no doubt exist, the usual approach to mandatory parent training and various kinds of treatment is misguided. Rather than foisting these "services" on families without regard to their circumstances, in what amounts to a highly incongruous manner; rather than treating these families as if they were psychiatric patients in need of treatment, consider first the context within which the alleged maltreatment exists and work to change that. Parents will then see a reason for better parenting, which will become one of the things they also aspire to achieve.